Happy New Years Eve my friends. It would have been 3 years today. We didn't make it. It looks like 2012 is going to be a drast...
Happy New Years Eve my friends.
It would have been 3 years today. We didn't make it.
It looks like 2012 is going to be a drastically different/hard/trying year, and i'm not sure if I will be around here very much. While I need the support, I can't really bear to write about my shitty life right now. My only option at this point is to move back to Illinois. I don't have a job, or money, or even a car right now, so i'm literally going to have to start all over- and I can't do that alone, I need my family.
Somewhere down the road I may be back here as much as i've always been, but until then, i'm so thankful for the friends i've made here and I hope you all bear with me for a while. I may still be around on Twitter and Instagram, but we'll see. When life isn't going well, I tend to pull myself away from the familiar (weird, I know). There are a few scheduled posts coming in the next week or two, and then that's probably it for a while.
He admitted he doesn't love me, and he's made it very clear that he's not willing to respect me or my choices or beliefs, and told me that we will never have a connection or a good relationship if I don't do something that I don't feel comfortable doing (I don't want to get into that on here). So as much as i'm completely heartbroken, I think knowing those things will make it a little easier.
Someday I will find someone who loves and cares about me as much as I do them, and someone who will understand and accept me for who I am...
-until then, it's me and P.
May I come to Understand,
that blessings are everywhere,
that my attitude will effect outcomes,
that challenges are often gifts in disguise.
May I come to Trust
that most things can get better, with time,
that my instincts & gut feelings have value,
that a positive attitude makes things go smoother.
May I come to See
that I have many skills & talents I can use,
that I am a positive influence on many people,
that there are those around me who wish me well.
May I come to Value
that today is a blessing to be enjoyed,
that each person is unique & important,
that each moment of my life has meaning.
I guess you can always find the good that comes from the bad...
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Bless my broken heart with healing.
A love has ended, leaving an emptiness inside,
where once there was a warm, comforting glow,
intimacies shared are no more, flown without trace,
gone as if, they never were at all, leaving sadness.
Bless my bruised trust with healing.
A love has ended, and I am alone once more,
confused by the swiftness of love's departure,
missing the intimacies once shared between us,
may my heart open to trust again, and not shut down.
My loss and this pain will soften in time,
when I am ready, bless me with a new, true, love,
open me to laughter, joy, deep sharing & happiness,
may I put away any lingering resentments & blaming.
Bless my past loves with health and happiness.