I didn't want it to be this way...

Lately, it's been really hard being away from P. He's been with his Dad a lot, which is good, but I miss him. So much. ...

Lately, it's been really hard being away from P.
He's been with his Dad a lot, which is good, but I miss him.

So much.

As he gets older and more fun and interactive, 
I feel like it's getting harder and harder for me for him to be gone.
I think he's getting more used to the "switch", 
but it's so hard to see him sad when his Dad drops him off.
Or happy to just leave me to go with him.

It kills me.

I cry when I leave him now and know it'll be a few days before I get to see him again.
I never wanted this for him.
To have to be away from one of his parents every single day.
I didn't want that for him, or for me or his Dad.
It's just so f-ing hard.

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6 comments

  1. He's so gorgeous, Joan, and I know you are doing the best you can. You are a good mama and he's got a solid relationship with his daddy and that's really great! Still, I can imagine how sad it makes you. :-(

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  2. Hugs to you! I'm sure it is VERY hard! You are such a good momma to support his relationship with his Dad though. I'm sure it would be so easy to just want to be selfish about it and have him all to yourself (who wouldn't!?) You're doing great!!

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  3. I totally understand, but in a different way. My son os 3 months old and the more personality he gets, the more I miss him like crazy! Sometimes I have to force myself to not think about him because I could get emotional. My and my husband are together, but leaving my son to go to work or to have a few hours alone stinks. Keep your head up girl!

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  4. Thank you :) It is def hard, but he loves his Dad so much too and I can see that, and I want him to have a good relationship with him as the years go on- his Dad and I both don't know our biological fathers and I would never want that for P!

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