I've written, what feels like, 10 posts about why I have this space. About why I started it and why I need it and what it means to me. I write posts apologizing about why i've disappeared, and I come back with a million pictures of life or tutorial after tutorial. In my mind I battle with what this blog IS or what I want it to be or what I want people to take out of it. I've had it linked to my Facebook, so that every post is being sent to every person I "know". I've censored a lot of who I am and what my life IS because, when now that I look at it, I was worried about what people would THINK and how i'll look if I write something that i'm worried people may disagree with.

Well, my Facebook is no longer. I cancelled my account so therefore none of my posts will be published there when I post them. Meaning, the people who will actually read this are people who come here because they WANT to.

I'm not sure why, for so long, i've cared what people think, but I have. We are all that way, to an extent, right? But i'm slowly realizing that it's MY choice who I keep in my life and it's ME who makes their opinion important or not.

I realize that this post may be confusing, and hopefully after time it will make more sense, but right now, what this place needs to be is ME. Me being honest and my place to say what I want when I want without being judged. I have considered just starting over, creating a new blog and something that has some sort of intention to it, but i've realized that even though this piece of the internet I have has been all over the place, it's worth something to me, and to the 400 something people that find it every day. So, i'll keep going here- but this blog may do a 180. Maybe more, maybe less, but it's gonna change.

I read a lot of blogs. Some are for pleasure...but most of them? Most of the blogs I read are because the girls who write them, they're real. They have a way of putting life into words that I can relate to. They don't portray perfection but each and every one of them makes what's not perfect into something beautiful, and that's where I want to be. I want this to be a place people can come to and relate. I want people to know that they're not alone...

Stay. Or go. It's up to you. But shit's about to get real...