Joan Ellen Cornell

9:00 PM

Eleven random things...

Meg, at The Kissy Pearl, tagged me in this thing, and i'm gonna do it :)

RULES.

1. You must post these rules

2. Post a photo of yourself and 11 random bit of info about yourself.

3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.

4. Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.

5. Let the people know you've tagged them!

ELEVEN THINGS ABOUT ME.

1. I listen to music at least once a day.

2. I am allergic to mint gum. Weird, I know. I always get a taste bud on my tongue that swells up if I eat mint gum.

3. Speaking of mint, I really hate mint toothpaste. For a long time I used kids toothpaste because it didn't burn my mouth.

4. I still have my baby blanket from when I was born. It was in my bed every night until late high school :) Now it's being used in Porter's bed.

5. I am obsessed with tv shows like Forensic Files, Dissapeared, Snapped, 48 Hours Later, etc. I never get tired of watching them. I used to want to be a forensic psychologist when I was growing up...maybe that's where the interest stems from...

6. I can't wait for summer for the sole reason that I can wear flip flops every single day.

7. I want more kids. Maybe another 2 or 3? Guess that'll be a while...

8. I can longboard pretty well but haven't in about 2 years. One time I was carving down a huge hill and I fell and had a bruise that was probably as big as a frisbee golf disc. It hurt, a lot. But that didn't stop me! I still love it :)

9. I cry really easily. I get my feelings hurt really easily. I take things personally often when I probably shouldn't. I'm just emotional.

10. I have lived in 4 states in my lifetime...Illinois, Texas, Illinois again, Michigan and Colorado.

11. I've been in one bad car accident where my car was totalled, but no one was hurt, thank god. I've never enjoyed driving since...

QUESTIONS FROM MEG.

1. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go? And why? I would love to visit New Zealand. To see real, live Kiwis :)

2. What is your favorite beauty product? Maybelline Pure Stay Powder Foundation. LOVE it.

3. What would your perfect day include? Being with people who make me happy/I love. That's all.

4. List a few words you would use to describe yourself. Outgoing, caring, crafty.

5. What is your favorite childhood memory? Playing by the Fox River with my childhood friends :)

6. What makes you most proud? This is a hard one. Probably Porter...being a mom.

7. If you had spare cash and could donate to any organization, which would you choose? Any organization that helps abused children.

8. What is your guilty pleasure? Candy candy and more candy.

9. What are your favorite names? I love Porter's name, I have a friend named Bronson and I really love that name, and Holland for a girl.

10. What does your favorite meal include? Probably Chicken Enchiladas. MMMMMM.

11. If you had to choose one word to inspire someone else, which word would you choose? This is so hard! I don't know of one single word...I can think of a few phrases, but not single words.

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

1. What movie could you watch over and over?

2. If you could pick up and move to any place, where would you go?

3. Dream job?

4. How old were you when you moved out of your parent's house?

5. What color walls do you have in your bedroom?

6. If you could meet one person, dead or alive, who would it be?

7. What inspires you?

8. What is your favorite band and genre of music?

9. What was your worst nightmare and best dream?

10. When was the last time you sent snail mail and who to and what was it?

11. Describe the last time you got pulled over...

TAGGED.

{Kelley @Brixton Makes Three}

{Kate @Discover.Create.Live.}

{Jess @Here Comes the Sun}

{Melinda @Jolinda}

{Jennifer @My Family of Three}

{Amy @Love.Bug.}

7:00 AM

Just Write...#1

I've seen this on a few blogs lately, and I decided I wanted in on it. The whole purpose is to just write...something I often find hard to do. There are so many things i think of in my mind to write about, but have such a hard time putting to words what's going on in my head. This is a problem- to me, anyways. I spend a lot of time taking/editing/posting pictures to post on here, but not enough time just writing things down.

So from now on, I will post a "Just Write" post every Tuesday and link up with The Extraordinary Ordinary

...and I'll just write.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I was about one, maybe a little younger, my mom, my biological father, Tracy Stiles, and I moved from Illinois to Texas. My mom was around 21 years old at the time. We lived there for about a year, and my little sister was born during that year (in Dallas). Around the time I was two, my mom chose to leave Texas with my sister and I. Tracy was more into drugs than being a father, didn't have a job or a place to live, so she did what was best for us and moved us back to my grandparents house in Illinois. She told him we were just going to visit my grandparents, packed what she could take with us, and never looked back. I was just told some of these details not very long ago, along with the fact that Tracy didn't make any effort to see us again.

Now, I understand as well as I can that people make mistakes,

and sometimes people just aren't ready to be parents.

But to me, Porter is my life now. I would give up everything for him, and have already changed so much about my life to make his the best it can be. I will never understand how someone can just give up something that is so important. But as much as I don't understand about why he made the choices he did, and why he gave up on his family so easily, I would give almost anything to be able to talk to him, for him to be able to explain his side of the story to me.

I am a pretty forgiving person, I don't like being mad at people or people being mad at me. I, like every other single person in this world, have made my share of mistakes. I realize that no one is perfect, and even though I would never give up on my family, it would be nice to know why he did. And as hard as it is to admit, I think that there is a little piece of me that's missing and that will not ever be full until I know who Tracy is. Because really, that's half of who I am. That's half of my genetics and I want to know about that other half. I want to know if I have any other half brothers or sisters out there...

There's a lot I just want to know.

Maybe someday I will find him, or he will find me, and I will get some of the answers I am looking for...